Basic Dorm Douche Kit (Contains items 1-8 = Entry Level Douchitis Protection)
1. Laundry Bag: You know you’re a douche when you can’t see the floor of your dorm room because it’s
covered with piles of dirty clothes. Your roommate won't look forward to
playing video games next to a pair of your old dirty boxers. A laundry
bag is a dorm room essential that ensures your dirty, smelly clothes stay in
one concealed spot. Out of sight and out of the way, our dorm laundry bag
will keep you clear of Douchitis.
2. Cord Wrap (Contains 3): College life = tech
stuff = lots of cords. Having cords twisted and tangled all over your dorm
room can cause your roommate to trip, which unfortunately makes you a Douche. Our
Q-Knots cleans up those cords by wrapping them together and preventing a jungle
of messy wires.
3. Soap Holder: As much as you don't mind your
hairy, dirty bar of soap lying on the dorm room sink, we can be certain your
college roommate will! Avoid being gross by using our Dorm Douche Kit
included Soap Holder. Keep Soap Concealed, keep Douchiness away.
4. Toothbrush Holder: Yes, your nasty toothbrush
out in the open is just as nasty as your bar of soap. Keeping it enclosed
in our toothbrush holder not only prevents Douche status, but it also prevents
your roommate from seeking easy revenge on your Douchy ways. i.e. Using
your toothbrush to scrub the sink.
5. Woolite - 2 Detergent Packets: In college you
may hear someone ask "Can I borrow your washing detergent?” But you'll only
hear it out of those infected with Douchitis because there is no such thing as
borrowing detergent. Detergent is expensive, and to use up your
roommate’s is not cool. The 2-Pack of Woolite Detergent buys you just
enough time to get two more loads of wash done before you have the chance to
get to the store for a new bottle. Great emergency dorm essential!
6. Hot Pot: In college Ramen Noodles might
just be more valuable than Gold and you'll want to stock up. With a Hot Pot of your own you can cook them at any time, day or night, without having to "borrow" your roommate's kitchen supplies to make a snack.
7. "Don't be a douche" Stickers
(10-Pack): These stickers are meant for you and your college
roommate. The moment you or your roommates begin to show symptoms of
Douchitis, the stickers must be used immediately! Your roommate leaves a
dirty, Ramen Bowl out for days? Put a sticker on it! Or ... If you
find a 'Don't be a douche' sticker on your music speakers, that probably means
you were playing your crappy music too loud. No matter the offense you or
your roommate commit, put a 'Don't be a douche' sticker on the problem and you'll
both have a chance at living a Douchitis free college dorm life.
8. $5.00 DormCo.com Gift Card: Although this
Dorm Douche Kit product doesn't provide immediate prevention against
Douchiness, we at DormCo.com know there will be some dorm item that you should
have bought yourself instead of trying to 'borrow' your roommate’s. This
gift card makes it that much easier to avoid being el cheapo and to get what
you need to ensure you are not a Douchy roommate.
Classic Dorm Douche Kit (Contains items 1-15 = Moderate Douchitis Protection)
9. Dorm Scent: The smells that can come out of dorm rooms can be
bad enough to kill a small farm animal. If those odors came from you,
then you are a true Douchy roommate.
Even if you can't stop the odors, you can least keep our Dorm Scent with
you to cover them up. A good smelling room = a good roommate.
10. Dry Erase Magnetic Board &
Marker: Leaving quality messages for your roommate is a vital part
of being a good roommate and friend. If that girl your roommate is
interested in pops by to see him, it’s your duty as a roommate to tell him that
‘Sarah’ stopped by. The best way to do that is to write a dry-erase board
message. This board is so essential because you may not see your roommate
for a while and forget to tell him! No Messages = Douchitis symptoms
11. Hug-A-Plug: Your roommate is charging his
phone before class and you suddenly remember you need to plug in your laptop,
now! So you rip his plug out of
the wall and put yours in. Warning: you are being a DOUCHE. A SERIOUS
DOUCHE. With our Hug-A-Plug, you gain two outlets where there was
previously only one. Make it easy for both you and your roommate to charge up with
this symptom preventing kit item.
12. Pens (6 Pack): Pens at home were probably
all over the place, but in dorm life they are about as scarce as seeing an
albino goat. So scare that if you drop a pen in the toilet, you might
fish it out and use it! Knowing how scarce they are, you can imagine what
level of douche you will reach if you take your roommate's pen. It may be
tempting to just grab the pen off your roommate’s desk.... but be strong, avoid
Douchitis, and use one of the pens in this life saving Dorm Douche Kit.
13. OTD Hook: Tossing your coat or used shower
towel on your roommate's bed, the dorm futon, or on the ground is just not
proper roommate etiquette. In fact, there is nothing good about a wet
towel or rain soaked coat unless it is hanging on an over-the-door hook.
Without this simple, yet effective dorm product, you will certainly be headed
down the slippery slope of Douchiness.
14. Utensil Wipes: You just finished chowing down on some food you brought back from the cafeteria, but left a huge mess in the common room. Don't just leave it and run - avoid this Douchy move by grabbing a handy Utensil Wipe to clean up your mess. These wipes are great for cleaning utensils, plates, glasses, and anything else your greasy hands might have contaminated.
15. 8 Plastic Cups (16oz): You & your
roommate go out and buy a 2-Liter of Coke. Great... until you realize you
are out of plastic cups. You can 'borrow' one of your roommate’s plastic
cups, or you can drink straight from the 2-Liter, but either way you’re being a
Douche. Stay Douchitis-free by reaching for one of the vibrant plastic
cups in your Dorm Douche Kit.
Mega Dorm Douche Kit (Contains items 1-23 = 100% Douchitis Protection)
16. Earbuds: Next time you think it is cool to blast Justin Bieber
through your dorm room speakers, think again! Whether or not you should
be listening to Justin Bieber is an entirely different conversation for an
entirely different time. Right now, we want you to know that you can prevent
Douchitis by using our earbuds at times when you feel the need to play bad
music loudly. By not subjecting your roommate to bad or annoyingly loud
music, you are actively fighting off one of the leading causes of a Douchitis.
17. SpazzStick - Caffienated Lip Balm: Having chapped
lips is gross, but not going to a party because you are too tired is Douchy.
Leaving your roommate without a wing man is just wrong. Buck-up by
spreading some SpazzStick on your lips! This caffeine infused lip balm
will have your lips looking good and your energy level high enough for the
party.
18. Extra Pillowcase: Just because your dorm bed is
your space, doesn't mean you can let it look like sewer pit. Your
roommate's friends will be sure to stop by, and they certainly don't want to
look at your greasy head-stained pillowcase. If you don't want to do the
wash, you can at least avoid being a Douchy roommate by swapping out your nasty
pillowcase for the fresh, clean one provided in this kit.
19. Easy Pen - Smoke Eliminator: While we don't encourage smoking or vaping in the dorm rooms, who is to say your roommate isn't suffering from some serious Douchitis? If that's unfortunately the case this Smoke Eliminator has your back to help cover up any unwanted smell with it's fresh sandlewood scent.
20. Sanitizer with Clasp Loop: Dirty, unclean hands are just plain gross. When you're meeting someone for the first time - whether it's at Freshman Orientation or an important Professor - they may want to shake your hand. But not if you have gobs of mustard from your lunch or pen ink smeared all over you. Don't worry - just squirt some of this handy sanitizer clipped to your backpack and you can clean away any lingering signs of Douchitis.
21. Bar of Soap: Running out of soap is bad….. really
bad! You don't want to stink because that is a Douchitis symptom, yet you
can't borrow your roommate's soap because that would confirm you’ve been
infected with Douchitis. You are in a big pickle, unless of course you
have that extra bar of soap in your Dorm Douche Kit. Survive another college
day before you make it to the store with our ridiculously necessary back-up bar
of soap.
22. Travel Size Shampoo Bottle: Although running out
of shampoo is not as dire as soap, it is certainly something that can lead to
Douchitis. Always avoid secretly using your roommate's shampoo! Trust us,
he'll know that your stanky hair doesn't normally smell like his Herbal Essence
Berry Blast! With this spare mini-shampoo you can avoid hearing your
roommate ask, “Why did you use and finish my shampoo? Stop being a Douche!”
23. Essential College Clip - USB or Outlet: NO matter how big your exam is the next
day, it is never right to blast the fluorescent lights while your roommate is
sleeping. Because if you do, he’s going to think you're a Douche.
Stay considerate and free of Douchitis symptoms by using your kit provided clip light plugged right into your computer. Study as late as you want without any disruption to your sleeping
roommate!
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Don't waste any time! Douchitis is upon us, and there’s only one way to
stop it. Get the Dorm Douche Kit for anyone you know heading off to college
dorm life. Graduating high school seniors going to college are most in
need, but really, no one is safe from Douchitis. Don't risk it! Choose
the Dorm Douche Kit, and you'll save an innocent roommate, or graduating
student from a life of Douchiness.